She was thinking about the music she had receive. She didn't know how to explain, how to put in words... It was so very complicated to talk about the feelings she used to have. It was love, it was vain... she couldn't tell. She just remembered that feeling of accomplishment of everything the wanted. Maybe it was real... even if it was vain.
And all the references in her head... upside down, head over feet, wondering why did you come... It wasn't certain, maybe was only in her head... like all the references she used to be proud of. Past hurts, even when it's kind... even when it's useless... Future terrifies, even when it promisses. Present isn't so certain...
He was right in front of her... with the whole life to come - nothing else should matter, nothing else should scare her. He was right in front of the door, with promisses to come. And even if this could mean the world to someone else, for her it was nothing. Nothing... with the entire life to come.... with everything to come.
And by that moment, all the references in her mind rejoiced with the sound of fear. She was the distraction in person, ready to meet her mates.She had to respond in action, to give and answear to life, but all she could do was smile and rejoice with her references. And was all in her head ... with a lifetime of distraction to come. Cause sometimes - she used to tell to herself- the fear of growing up does not vanish.
Ninna... memories dancing around her pride.... mind... joy...hither and thither, hither and thither...
After all this while
Would you ever wanna leave it?
Maybe you could not believe it
that my love for you was blind...
But I couldn't make you see it
Well, I couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you will ever know
a part of me died when I let you go...
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